National Narcotics Agency (BNN) Chief Budi Waseso made headlines around the world last week when he announced that he was planning to build a special prison for drug dealers on death row, located on a remote island that he would surround with thousands of crocodiles that would act as the jail’s guards.
Other government officials were quick to say that Budi was just joking about the crocodiles, but then last Friday the BNN Chief doubled down on his ridiculous plan, saying that he was considering adding tigers and piranha fish to his island prison zoo of doom.
But apparently Budi was still not satisfied with his deadly animal lineup. On Saturday he said that another ferocious fish from the Amazon, the giant arapaima, might also make a suitable guard for his dream jail.
“It seems to fit when placed in Indonesia,” Budi said, as quoted by Tempo.
Unfortunately nobody seems to have told Budi that the arapaima fish would not, in fact, be a good fit for his prison. For several reasons. First, like piranhas, they are freshwater fish that would not survive in the saltwater surrounding a remote island in Indonesia. Second, they are not considered dangerous to humans and are in fact a major food source in the areas where they are usually found.
But Budi said one thing he likes about the arapaima is that, like crocodiles, they can’t be bribed.
In addition to his fishy plans, the BNN Chief said that he was still researching and testing which types of crocodiles are the most aggressive and thus most suitable for his prison.
“There are many kinds [of crocodiles] in Papua, Sulawesi, Sumatra and in Java,” Budi said. He then cited some more reason that crocodiles would make great prison guards, saying they are long-lived and resistant to disease and hunger.
“They can age over 100 years, so this is very effective,” he said.
Frankly we can’t wait to hear what animal Budi will add to his maniacal menagerie next. Bears? Tarantulas? Sharks with lasers attached to their heads?
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